THE EVERMORE DRINKING GAME It looks like you ve picked up the Ever Drinking Game, for whichever reason but if it s because you have an interest in reading Ever I strongly advise against it, for your sanity s sake However, if you re still not convinced to stay the hell away from this book , the Ever Drinking Game is here to make your reading experience as enjoyable as possible because trust me, you won t find anything enjoyable in this book without it The rules for the Ever Drinking Game are simple when you read any of the instances mentioned below when reading Ever, you take a swig of anything It could be alcohol for the best results it could be water sadly, with this option, you ll still actually have some grasp of the story , coffee but you ll be as hyper as you ve ever been before you reach the end of the game , or really any other beverage in your disposal Let s begin the game, shall we Once again, when you read any of the following instances, take a swig And go Whenever you roll your eyes, take a swig Whenever you feel like taking a hammer to Ever, take a swig and maybe that hammer Easy so far Don t worry you won t be saying that after long Whenever Ever heh is a complete and total idiot, take a swig yikes Whenever someone uses a positive adjective when describing Damen, take a swig preferably sexy, gorgeous, hot, smoking, or even combustible Whenever someone says omigod , take a swig omigod you re in trouble Whenever Ever presses her lips, take a swig good luck with that one, my friend Whenever another talent Damen has is revealed, take a swig but Damen will probably swig better than you Whenever you find out something before Ever does, take a swig Whenever Ever throws herself a pity party, take a swig ya know, her family used to like parties Whenever Ever dreams of Damen, take a swig Whenever Damen and Ever declare their undying love for each other, take a swig Whenever Riley is annoying, take a swig Whenever you find a Twilight rip off reference, take a swig man, I m harsh Whenever you feel the urge to run out the nearest window because you re reading Ever, take Cymbalta a swig When or if you finish Ever, take a swig, because you, my friend, conquered this monstrosityCongratulations You ve made it this far and finished the Ever Drinking Game And if you haven t that s either because you re too drunk to function and in intensive care, in the bathroom doing only god knows what, or dead Well, wasn t this game enjoyable If one thing s for certain, it wasenjoyable than Ever. No Just no Absolutely not I could NOT continue this book The only minute thing I found interesting was that the car accident managed to knock the dog s balls off somehow Other than that, I couldn t stand anyNo no no no no Hell fucking shit no. Edit 04 01 2018 Commentary from Present Day MeOh man, sixteen year old me was so angry lmao Bless his soul This review was fun to look back on, since I actually did read the entire series All six books, all terrible I guess this was also during my Brony phase I noticed the Rarity GIF immediately This series was one of those ones that offended me with how bad it was, if I recall correctly.My old review somewhere around 2012 Hokay So Instead of reviewing the book, I ve decided I m just going to review the whole series right here.It is, and I say this without even an ounce of doubt, the worst series I have ever read Of all the worst things, this is absolutelyThere will be spoilers in this review, but you know, who the fuck cares I wasted my time reading this whole series, because it was basically for nothing I recently realized that all of Ever s struggles in this series are only for the sole purpose so that she can break the curse that s been preventing them to have sex Thus eventually having sex Which they do, in the last book s ending, predictably.Ever is the stupidest heroine in the history of YA Every book ends with her making stupid choice after stupid choice In Blue Moon, she listened to the bad guy, thus unleashing the curse that I was talking about earlier In the third book, she chose to save her best friend Haven who was actually a poser bitch that was barely even nice to her over curing the curse, and by saving her she made her an immortal as well, which I could not get over cause she was insufferable enough mortal And whadaya know, she turns into the villain in book four Shocker.And then of course, there s Damen Auguste Arrogant, muscular, perfect, rich He can paint better than Picasso He s absolutely perfect and flawless in every way possible He s also a controlling and selfish douchebag that irritates me to no end Honestly, that s why he and Ever are perfect for each other Because they re both so equally annoying.And this curse thing God, it dragged on and on for like four books with no resolution Basically, at the end of book two, Ever listens to the villain yet another example of her utter stupidity and ends up getting tricked by him Sure, she cures Damen of this disease that the villain put on him, but there s a catch they won t be able to touch or transfer DNA Meaning, they won t be able to fuck Of course, Ever is all freaking out about it cause she thinks that if they don t fuck sooner or later Damen will leave her, since all hot guys are like that, aren t they Throughout the rest of the books, all Ever wants is to get the antidote, but due to her making stupid choices in every book, it never works out And I think during book three or four or something, Damen starts to be a littleminimalistic dressing less fancy, getting rid of his expensive car, etc and you know what Ever does She whines about it.Damen is actually making an effort to get rid of his cocky, arrogant self to be a better person if you will and you whine about it My god, do you guys SEE how absolutely ridiculous her stupidity is I wanted to just reach into the page and knock some sense into her.But back to the whole antidote thing, when I saw the cover for book five, Night Star, I thought Wow, is she finally going to get that stupid antidote already And you know how she gets this antidote She doesn t It turns out that there s this magical tree with a magical fruit that when you eat it, it makes you truly immortal In other words, able to fuck And no, unfortunately I did not make that up, it s actually how it goes.So in the end, they do fuck And that s it Done Ever claims that they re now truly together and everyone lives happily ever after.So what was the message Alyson Noel gave You have to have sex with someone to be truly together with them What a powerful, inspiring message for young readers everywhere Bravo, Ms Noel.To put it shortly, this series is about two selfish people who want so badly to bump uglies Further, I think that this series is nothing but a waste A waste of time, space, paper, pretty much everything you can think of I still ask myself every single day why I ever chose to go through with reading all of the books I ll never get back those brain cells I lost.You may say, Whoa, isn t that a bit harsh It can t be that bad, can it The reason why I may come off as very angry in this review is because it s not just the horrible kind of bad, it s the offensive kind of bad The oh my god why do you even exist on this planet kind of bad The entire plotline of the series in general is pretty much the piss frosting on top of the shit cake, because all this time I d been reading a series that s solely about two selfish asshole teenage immortals who want to fuck that they re willing to do anything for it, the female one beingdesperate than a thirsty reality TV star That s all there is to it This is not the type of shit that tween girls should be reading and fantasizing over They should not take the message that this book puts forth about having sex with someone being the only way to prove your love or make a relationship last It s just disgusting and wrong on so many levels, and I can t believe the gall of the author to implant this abysmal moral on young minds That may have not been her goal she may not have realized it, but I thought that it was crystal clear.So I advise you, dear reader if you value your well being, stay far far far FAR away from this atrocity Don t make the same mistake I did You still have the chance to save yourselves.Take it. Have you ever heard of Mini Pop Kids You know, those thirteen year olds who fit 24 cheap covers of mega hit songs on to 2 CDs and pedal them on horrifyingly gaudy adverts between episodes of real 70s Scooby Doo on Teletoon Retro By the way, Teletoon Retro is the best channel on television Check it out It s absolutely brilliant You can watch crappily animated suggestive vintage cartoons like Dexter s Laboratory and Top Cat and The Flintstones at 3 am with short commercial breaks Love it Yes Mini Pop Kids is basically the definition of pointless commercialism, and they re so shiny I was not that shiny when I was thirteen I had terrible acne and I wore too much eyeliner because I thought I was emo, and I really liked wearing these frumpy ex nursing shoes to school In front of people.See, this book is basically the Mini Pop Kids of the YA paranormal romance genre It s this awful shiny, cheap knock off written on really floppy paper It s like the gas station version of Twilight and that s assuming that it s possible for anything to be worse than Twilight Is it possible to be worse than Twilight It s not like the plot even makes any sense Ever and Damen s romance just happens randomly, one night at a party said party being an example of how aggressively Ever takes advantage of her aunt Sabine It s pretty formulaic YA fare smokin hot Lothario and cloth eared cardboard cut out check each other out for a while, do a little stalking, and then Adonis tells Plain Jane how much prettier and smarter she is than all the other short skirted sluts at school and then they kiss and fall in eternal love within about one hundred pages Blah, blah And there s this painful gotta catch the girl pursuit in which Ever expresses strong disinterest in Damen, but he ignores this and continues to push against her until she gives in According to this book, no means keep trying.This is dangerous, and it is bullshit If you re disinterested in someone, you have absolutely no obligation to pretend to be interested in them If someone pursues you but you don t want to be pursued by them, it s 200% reasonable to tell them to go away, stop it, or leave you alone.I could wax on and on about the whole virgin whore dichotomy that tears through this book like a bull seeing red but that would be a waste of time We already know it s going to be a sexist, racist, homophobic mess Why do we already know this Two reasons One It s a New York Time Bestseller, and sits at the forefront of most bookstore YA displays, and apparently the prerequisite for both of these privileges is appallingly offensive content Two It was written by someone who lives in a world where it s perfectly fine and acceptable to pat rape culture on the back, fetishize people of colour, ridicule and commodify people within the LGBTQA community, and to use a woman s appearance, intelligence and sexual choices to degrade her So let s not bother with the formalities of this is why it is offensive It just is offensive, and that s that It doesn t take a genius to work out why.You d expect a book with such shitty content to at least have some mercy and be properly written It isn t It s like fanfiction, all hel lo and totally and with the narrator using I mean as a prefix to about 60% of her inner monologue It s appalling It s like Marked, because it s not even fun to laugh at It s just cringe worthy in it s crappiness Didn t I say this was a gas station Twilight Well, it is Speaking of the narrator Ever s a piece of shit That s basically it She s a huge piece of shit She treats everyone around her like garbage and then expects them to paw at her adoringly while she mopes in her hoodie, with no makeup on her face Okay, okay So you think you re a wallflower and you think you have some kind of really cool selfless tragic indie life Cool story, bro You can do the whole self centered teenage thing if you want, but don t pretend you re some kind of saintly madonna of a character who doesn t buy into the petty fads of the whores around you because you re just too damn obscure That s what this book tries to do It tries to make Ever out to be this sympathetic holier than thou Christ metaphor but in all honesty she s just an asshole I also want to add that absolutely zero research was conducted into the world of psychic mediums Psychic abilities are very specific, and you can t just lump them all under the title of psychic Ever can read auras and see ghosts and read thoughts andyeah, it lost me Reading thoughts That s not a psychic ability Psychics don t get their information by reading your thoughts Telepathy is in a completely different ballpark, and it s just shit like this that proves how few fucks the author gives about authenticity and integrity in her writing And not to mention the total lack of continuity surrounding the whole thing Ever says she sees spirits everywhere and they wave at her and stuff, but she isn t at all bothered by this What about people who died in horrible accidents What about angry spirits What about the mere fact that supposedly, everywhere she goes she sees these dead people walking around like they re at the fucking carnival She literally mentions it once, and then never again The fact that she can see ghosts wandering around doesn t even factor into her daily life How can this even be Listen, because here s something this book won t teach you you aren t better than anyone else because you ve had hardship in your life Yeah, that sounds harsh, doesn t it But it s true Because you can t ever know what other people have gone through or had to deal with And even if they haven t had any hardship, so what Everyone is deserving of happiness People who have average, painless lives aren t less street than you and they don t deserve to be shit on from a great height by people who ve been through the wars If you ve had pain in your life and you know how it feels to be truly unhappy, then where the hell is the logic in wanting to inflict that on some content stranger Needless to say, Ever doesn t get this Does she have to scorn Haven and Miles Does she really have to invade other people s privacy using her mediumship and then proceed to critique their character based on their private thoughts What goes on silently in someone else s head is seriously none of your business Does she have to be a huge brat to Sabine, who has also lost family members Sabine is grieving too and Ever is old enough to realize this She has lost her whole family and she has survivor s guilt, and you can t expect someone to be whole and cheery with this sort of weight on their shoulders, but Ever s not a little kid She s not a tiny child who doesn t know what death and grief is She s big enough to be able to empathize with other people.Back to no means no if your friends try to force you into a relationship with someone, or try to force you to confess to being interested in someone that you are not interested in like Haven does to Ever make some new ones If someone scares you and makes you uncomfortable, get away from them This is an actual problem that this book normalizes women putting up with shit Ever puts up with being badgered into acknowledging Damen constantly This is pretty much a phenomenon within YA In fact, it s a phenomenon within society in general This is what we re taught don t be a bitch, or a prude, or the angry girl Just humor him Smile, be a lady.No Fuck that Listen this is serious If you are not interested in someone, or someone is making you feel uncomfortable, you are not obligated to be polite to him If some dude comes and sits next to you on the bus and badgers you to talk, you do not have to put up with it You do not have to talk back You do not have to be a lady and let him enjoy frightening you.If a dude sits next to you in class and makes comments about your body, you do not have to sit there, silent and ashamed.If a dude asks you for your number and you don t want to give it to him, you do not have to pretend to forget it, or give him a fake number to avoid an argument.If a dude touches your body or your clothes in a way that makes you uncomfortable, you don t have to make the effort to move or pretend not to notice it If your dude boss calls you crazy you don t have to laugh it off and take it on the chin.If your dude friend fetishizes your sexual preferences, your clothing and your body size, you don t have to try and twist it into a joke or pretend to enjoy the attention even though it makes you feel sick I have experienced all of the above scenarios andSay fuck off Say leave me alone Say I don t want to give you my number See, this is the fucking problem with so many YA books like this one No is being muddied It s being replaced with maybe YA is telling young women that no means try again later It s this whole predator prey formula that prowls around YA like a fucking snake in the grass, etching the gender binary in stone What s it telling young women Be pursued Even if you don t want to be That s what you re there for To be looked at, to be touched, to be courted To be prey And the vice versa is what it is telling young men you re the predator Push, shout, beat her down She s yours to look at, to touch, to court If she says no, don t respect that Don t respect her at all Just keep pushing Eventually, you ll wear her down.That s not consent That s coercion But hey Talkin bout those blurred lines And the cycle goes around and around, getting tighter and tighter,andingrained in society, until we don t even know it s happening Until we don t think twice about sitting on a bus silently and passively while some guy stares at us from across the aisle, licking his lips and make obscene gestures with his hands Until we don t say no for fear of being the bitch who broke the binary.I am almost done with YA, especially paranormal YA It s just the most problematic shit How can we all be putting up with this This is fucked This whole genre is fucked I need a drink. Let s just say that after reading this book I was unable to see a tulip without having a strong urge to kick it. Back when I read this book, I didn t know what snark was Now that I do hehehehehehehe Now that I do and now that I remember everything that bothered me about this book, I shall write snark Yes, I shall.Mmmm snark.So let me explain what I thought I was reading with this excellent meme Ah, yes How Ever utterly reminded me of Bella Swan, I cannot explain in this review I just cannot And how Damen reminded me of Edward Cullen, I cannot explain in this review I JUST CANNOT The resemblances are ridiculously striking Noel s hero must be Stephenie Meyer, right I think so, too The writing Holy crap How did Noel not see how absolutely dreadful her writing was She must be stupid or blind Maybe a mixture of both I bit my lip hard I pressed my lips together I bit my lip hard I pressed my lips together I swear I knewabout Ever s lips than Ever herself I m sorry Such a crappy review that revealed nothing about how the book was I know, but I honestly cannot. Having satisfied my curiosity about this popular YA series, I can safely scratch the rest of the books and their author off my TBR list forever.The book starts off OK mind reading, auras, family drama, but very swiftly becomes just another pathetic Twilight rip off Same worn out story of an insecure girl falling for a mysterious sexy dangerous paranormal guy, same absent adults, same love without really knowing each other, same focus on outer beauty and expensive things, same gazing into each other s eyes, and same chaste sleeping in the same bed Well, you know the drill.The characters are flat, unrelatable, stupid, and acting out of character whenever it is convenient, the relationships are shallow, the style of narration is juvenile, the mythology is full of holes, the story itself is boring, unoriginal, unexciting, and full of clich s Pretty much, a waste of time Putting this next to other mediocre Twilight rip offs Shiver and Hush, Hush Reading challenge 1 E. This book warrants a full on, GIF ridden review You ve been warned.Let me start out by saying this So..We have Ever Yeah, EVER Who names their kid EVER There was also Honor, Haven and Stacia, but I digress Anyway, who would play Ever in the movie A light switch Think about it She loves him, she hates him She loves him, she hates him She loves him, she wants to barf at the sight of him.So she almost died and now she has psychic powers Which, by psychic powers, she means being restricted to only wearing hoodies, acting like a total loon, constantly treating your friends like shit, going deaf on heavy metal, and generally being a lacking human being How does anyone deal with her kind of crazy Throughout the whole book, I never did get why she kept thinking psychic powers hoodies.Then we have Damen, with an E Not Damon, with an O.See, even Damon with an O thinks that s dumb Oh, and Damen s last name is Auguste Was somebody really trying to recreate a Salvatore brother Hm Got a nice Italian Spanish sounding name and dark hair.and viola Now, he s an immortal But he drinks weird red shit which is never fully explained and being red, sparkly and keeping him immortal I can only assume is magical unicorn blood , screws with people s heads, is insanely fast and strong, is psychic, and down right creepy So, I m sorry, Noel, but you just invented the vampire Good for you Idiot.And he falls for the emotionless, creepy loner girl that is gorgeous but doesn t seem to notice, ala Edward Cullen And thus the selfish stupidity ensues He flirts with her, then her worst enemy, then her, then the enemy again Then a bunch of pointless teenage drama happens They make out She decides she hates him because. I never could follow why she hated him half the time Because he didn t give up his phone number Somebody dies Ever worriesabout Damen than the dead girl Her best friend almost dies She worriesabout Damen than the best friend Oh, and let s not forget she s seeing the ghost of her dead sister and kinda holding her hostage, saying things to the tune of I can t lose you too I know you re giving up Heaven and our parents, but STILL I need you here Deal I haven t seen this much selfishness since.uh.Twilight And that brings me around to the Twilight rip off checklist 1 vampire oops, I mean immortal check2 human love interest check3 mind reading check4 emotionless main character check5 stupid red haired bad girl bent on killed MC check6 strange lovey feelings near vampire immortal whatever check7 MC hating her life and being ungrateful of everything and everyone checkI m sure there s , but you get the point If you take a shot for every similarity, you ll be dead in minutes.I hated this book Especially when it came down to the power of love saving the fucking day Yes, we pulled a Halo and love wins the war Damen s wife, I repeat WIFE, is angry he s in love with someone else, shocker , and Ever kills her Granted, Drina was a crazy bitch, but she WAS married to Damen and all She punches her in the chest, the heart chakra, and it kills her because she s lacking in love and Ever has so much I Just Stared.Somebody thumped an immortal s breastbone and she croaked No, there s no punchline I didn t make it up This shit really happened A 600 year old immortal vampire whatever got taken down by a whiny little teenager with a girly punch.And what was Damen doing BOTH times Ever the supposed love of his life was fighting for her life against his wife Not coming to her rescue until he was sure she really wanted to live Let that sink in he refused to come save her until she voiced, and voiced believably, that she really didn t want to DIE Your wife is beating the shit out of the woman you love, and you don t DO ANYTHING The whole story made me sick It made no effing sense Summerland Sparkly red drinks Damen screwing with her memories and trying to convince her she didn t really see him bleeding her bestie on the living room rug The power of LOVE saving the day SMHEver has some pretty serious trauma to deal with, but every time someone offer her counseling, help with her powers, a shoulder to cry on, she flips the fuck out and gets defensive Like helping her NOT be a nut is the worst idea on the planet Like the other psychic who is trying to help her let go of her guilt is the BAD GUY Instead, she chooses to self medicate with vodka, drive drunk and get expelled I wanted to smack Ever With a fish Plus, the story was so easy to figure out I didn t even have to finish the damn book to know what had would was happening There was no real surprise, although the acid induced Summerland place was a bit of a weird shocker More like a scene thought up while high than anything relevant To sum it up, this book made my angry Ever was ungrateful, bitchy, emotionless I can t figure out how Damen is in love with her insta love, of all things And Damen is the Edward Cullen wannabe, creepy, sneak into your room and watch you sleep kinda stalker.The other characters were rather pointless.In conclusion What I wanted to do when I finished this stupid book Despu S De Que Un Horrible Accidente Siegue Las Vidas De Su Familia, Ever Bloom, De Diecis Is A Os, Puede Ver El Aura De La Gente, O R Sus Pensamientos, Y Saber Toda La Historia De La Vida De Una Persona Con S Lo Tocarla Haciendo Lo Imposible Por Evitar El Contacto Humano Y Suprimir Sus Habilidades, Ha Sido Etiquetada Como Bicho Raro En Su Nuevo Instituto Pero Todo Cambia Cuando Conoce A Damen AugusteDamen Es Guap Simo, Ex Tico, Y Rico Es El Nico Capaz De Silenciar El Ruido Y La Extra A Energ A En Su Cabeza Poseyendo Una Magia Tan Intensa, Que Es Casi Como Si Pudiera Ver Dentro De Su Alma A Medida Que Ever Se Siente M S Y M S Atra Da Hacia Su Mundo De Secretos Y Misterio, Encuentra M S Preguntas Que Respuestas Y No Tiene Ni Idea De Qui N Es L En Realidad O Qu Es Lo Nico Que Sabe Con Seguridad Es Que Se Est Enamorando Profundamente Y Sin Remedio De L I absolutely loved this book It is a bit of an easy read, but well worth it I felt as though the author had taken some of my favorite young adult books and blended them into one solid story This is basically a young adult romance novel with a supernatural twist It had some humor peppered throughout it, but it was mostly just sweet Damen was an interesting character, but he did irritate me with the Drina situation I won t saybecause I do not want to spoil it I completely recommend this book to anyone who enjoys a good YA supernatural romance.